Back to Our December Love
by RedVinesGirl11
Summary: Based off the song 'Back To December' By Taylor Swift. Sirius Breaks up With Remus. R&R. Flames for my marshmellows! SLASH. Rated T for minor swearing


**Yes, another Remus and Sirius fic**** I'm like so addicted to them right now**** as always**** Well Thanks for reading and Review! No flames please and the POV will switch threw out the lyrics, but it will probably be mostly Sirius's POV **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Taylor Swifts Amazing "Back to December" Or ANY Harry Potter stuff. Or anything else in the chapter. **

**Back to Our December Love~~~~~**

**I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's Life, Tell me how's your family. I haven't seen them in a while~ **

I was meeting_ him_ today, at the three broomsticks. I ran outside into the bitter cold weather with snowflakes falling.

"So Remus, How are the Twins?" I ask him attempting conversation.

"Oh there great! Sophie and Matthew are really doing awesome, last time I went and saw them they were learning how to read!"

"Four-Years old! Ha!"

We laughed and joked for a while and it was nice. Not like the old days, but nice, like_ friends_ should be.

**You've been good busier then ever, we small talk working the weather. Your guard is up and I know why~ **

"So Remus where's life taken ya?"

"Well scents it our seventh year and all, I'm thinking about getting a small apartment up in London, in the Muggle world probably. The apartment would only be temporally though; I'm planning to return to Hogwarts soon as a teacher"

"A Teacher? Wow" I said with my eyebrows lifted.

"So where you headed?" Remus asked with interest

"A future is always undecided Remus"

He laughed "Yeah your right" he said taking a swig with his butterbeer.

**Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind, you gave me roses and I left them there to die So this is me swallowing my pride and standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night~**

Tears streaking down my face**, **my hands shaking**.**

"I'm Sorry! Okay? This hasn't been easy Remus! It's been hard! I've been trying to be your friend! Just your friend, but I-I can't!"

"It was hard for you? You're the one who fucken broke up with me in the first place!"

"I know! But my parents-"

"Oh so your parents didn't approve did they? Mine didn't either if you haven't noticed! But they got over it! Just as I with you!"

"You-You Don't Love me anymore?"

"No Sirius, you hurt me enough! Even if I were ever to love you again, it won't be soon!"

And with that I ran out of the dormitory, and into the pouring rain, as if nature was sad to, but probably siding with Remus, they always do.

**and I go back to December all the time, turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you wishing I realized what I had when you were mine, I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright, I'd go back to December all the time**

I closed my eyes, and went to a happier place, somewhere not here, anywhere but here. I escaped to that December day Remus, James, Lily, and I went to the three broomsticks. It was snowing and everyone was bundled up in hats, gloves and scarfs. Lily and James had started dating but Remus and I hadn't, although every one could see our love (except ourselves of course) and while James and Lily went off to the "Quil shop" Remus and I were together, but we knew that they wanted their alone time, so we "bought" their excuse. Afterwards Remus and I just walked randomly around. After about10 minutes of walking we decided to stop and rest on a near by bench.

"So Remmie what's up?"

"Nervous"

"Nervous of what?"

"Sirius! NEWTS are in 2 weeks! I need to study! I probably going to fail and then they'll never let me back into Hogwarts! Who would want a werewolf and most importantly a stupid were-"

I cut him off, by the only thing that seemed natural. I kissed him. I know its weird but it just seemed to be the right thing to do, the perfect thing to do. He first froze at first and just when I thought he was going to pull away, he responded, He laced he fingers in my hair pulling me closer, and started kissing me most eagerly then ever before. We kissed for about 5 minutes, and then we pulled away, breathing heavily, and I got up

"Your not gonna fail Remus" I said holding out my hand.

"Thanks Siri" He said taking my hand and walking by my side, to close for a friend, for far for a lover. Maybe a crush, maybe loves.

**These days I haven't been sleeping, stayin up playin back myself leaving.**

Ireplayed the scene over and over again, torturing myself. Tears were running down my face once again, wetting the other already dried tears streaks. If Remus was miserable I had to be to. I felt sad when happy, always, if Remus had to go threw that, and then I couldn't be happy.

**When your birthday passed and I didn't call~**

September 18th, your birthday. Thee entire day I tried to get threw without tears, if I called it would mess everything up, I was trying to separate from Remus, not remind him! I hand twitched and my eyes laid upon my blueberry. _Just a couple seconds…just a happy birthday and maybe an I love you an- _No! I couldn't, Remus was happy, and I wasn't going to ruin it. Remus was happy, Remus was happy. Remus was happy, Remus was happy. That was all that mattered, his selfish ex-gay boyfriend didn't need to call him on his Birthday, just so they could both end up having to live threw those painful memories flash before their eyes once again. I closed my eyes for a second but quickly opened them, it was only 2 pm, and I won't allow myself to fall asleep. Before I could control my actions, my phone was in my hand, my brain wasn't working, but my heart was, overtime. Before I realized what was happening and what I was doing, I heard Remus's voice.

"Hello?" I froze, I hadn't heard his voice in months, it spread warmth threw out my body, and a smile slid across my face.

"Hello? Anyone there?" I felt the warmth again as the seconds past

"Stupid Muggle contraptions!" He said almost angry and hung up the phone, leaving me only with the dial tone

**And I think about summer all the beautiful times, I watched you laughing from the passenger side **

"Come on Remus!"

"I don't trust you"

"I got my Muggle license and mum put spells on it and everything!" I said grabbing his arm and pulling him to the passenger seat.

"Fine!" He said exasperated

"Yay!" I let go and ran over to the other side of the Muggle "car"

I hopped in and looked over to Remus who already had his seat beat on and was clenching the bottom of the seat. I laughed at the scene and started the car, making Remus yelp.

The farther we drove Remus started to relax, trusting I wouldn't (purposely) kill him.

After a while he even started laughing. I turned on the radio and one of our favorite songs was on.

"Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry.

James had bought me the CD for Christmas as a joke, but I was hooked.

"You make me feel like I'm liven a teenage dream the way you turn me on!" I looked over to Remus; it was the most beautiful scene my eyes have even seen. His hair was showing his blond streaks and his eyes were sparking, and his mouth was in the middle of laugh, while singing the lyrics. Remus

**And realized I loved you in the fall~**

I sat under a tree with Remus, the leaves falling at our feet, while we staring deeply into each others eyes, my deep blue and black into his Hazel and green. His bangs softly blowing across his face. We were both wearing slightly heavy jackets but we would both at times shiver, but I think it had nothing to do with the cold.

**And the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind**

I looked outside and sighed. At this time last year Remus and I were slipping hot chocolate and building dozens of snowmen in his front yard with the twins. A tear rolled down my cheek, I did miss the twins Sophie so shy and caring, she was a perfect little princess with her curly blond hair and deep brown eyes, and she was very artistic and loved dress up, she was great with a piano and at age 3 she learned to play, she was clumsy and loved to read. Her brother Matthew was a whole different story, He loved spider man and his curly blond hair was cut short but long enough for you to see curls. He wanted to be a superhero when he grew up and he made friends easily. He was outgoing and even for a 4 year olds humor, really funny. He loves Pixar movies and never lied. They were so cute especially that one Christmas when I came over and by greeting Remus, they tackled him to the floor.

**You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye~**

"But Sirius! I love you!"

"Goodbye Remus, I hope you can manage a happy normal life without me"

"Sirius I will never be normal! Who would ever love me anyway?"

I turned sharply to him "Remus there are a lot of people in the world who will love you!"

"Then why won't you?"

"This isn't natural Remus! We're not meant to be"

"What do you mean it's 'not natural?'"

"I mean we can't be together! We're not lovers or soulmates or whatever the fuck!"

"So just because my soulmate isn't what most people would call "perfect" doesn't mean I can't be in love!"

"You're not in love with me Remus"

"Yes I am!" Tears were running down his face.

I walked away before he could see my own tears, that were now running down my face.

**I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile so good to me, so right.**

Sirius Black would never show you a smile unless your _really_ good friends with him. So basically I saw the smile everyday. Sirius was like that; he would laugh at my unfunny jokes and smile as though he had won the lottery. When he was around me he was just so…_happy._ And trust me not many saw Sirius Black's "Happy Smile" They mainly only saw the "I-am-plotting-to-kill-you" smile. That what I missed about him, his smile, it wasn't sweet and innocent, but it wasn't entirely mischievous either, A little of both, my favorite smile. It was nice and had a certain innocence to it, It was the smile that could swoon almost every girl in Hogwarts, and almost always buys him out of detention with McGonagall.

**And how you held me in your arms that September night the time you ever saw me cry.**

"Sirius just go away!" I yelled, running towards the Hogwarts doors.

"Remus I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! It just slipped out..."

"It just slipped out? It just slipped out that your bestfriends a werewolf? How tonight's a full moon and how much you knew he'd love any excuse to get me kicked out of Hogwarts!"

"I didn't know he was going to come! We were fighting and it slipped!"

"You could have killed him! _I_ could have killed him!" I yelled turning around with tears slowly, but rapidly spilling out of my eyes.

I continued "You're lucky James came and saved him!"

"I know Remus! Okay it was a horrible mistake, Snape was yelling at me and I couldn't take it! I told him to meet me at the Whopping Willow at twilight but I didn't think he would! More or less steal James's invisibility cloak!" Tears were streaming down his face, I was a little shocked, I had never seen Sirius cry before, and I don't think he had ever seen me either. My forgiving nature over came me without my permission, and I and ran towards Sirius and hugged him tight, falling down to the damp, grassy ground.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you" I mumbled after we had both stopped crying. I pulled away to see small little damp spots all over Sirius's shirt, I laughed mildly "And for ruining your shirt"

He looked down and laughed also "S'okay never liked this shirt"

I pretended to look shocked "I bought you it!"

"Oh…um…" He looked down again "Oh I thought it was a different shirt. I love this one!"

"Yeah sure Siri, sure"

**Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming.**

I woke with a start, sweat beading down my forehead and my hands clenching the bed sheets, I had another one of _those_ dreams. You know the one were Sirius told me he loved me, broke up with me, and then had the nerve to try to be friends and failing at it? You know that one? Yeah well its worse then it sounds, I just wish sometimes Sirius would come back, but then the next minute, I wish he would craw under a rock and die. Tears had now started forming in my eyes, I just wish he had never broke up with me, everything got worse when he did. Especially the transformation. The Transformation was the worse, all my emotions I had been trying so hard to hide, just spilled out into the open, animals don't care about emotions, and they just don't. So when the werewolf inside me takes over….its horrible, all the anger and sadness…I won't even allow Peter and James to say with me anymore its becoming so bad…If he had never left I would be complete, whole, I wouldn't have to hide from my friends, I won't have to cry myself to sleep. It would be just like it use to be.

**If we loved again I swear I'd love you right I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't. So if the chain is on your door I understand. **

Today was _that_ day. The day I totally damned my life eternally. The day I will never forget, forever burned into my mind. The day that 2 years ago a part of my soul died. Today was the day I broke up with Remus. The day I gave everything up just because of what my parents thought. The day I destroyed my future, the day that changed my life. The day that gives me nightmares, and makes me cry myself to sleep every night. Today was _that_ Day.

**But this is me swallowing my pride standing if front of you saying I'm sorry for that night and I go back to December, turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you wishing I realized what I had when you were mine, I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind. I'd go back to December all the time~ **

**All the time~~~~~~ **

He has soft brown hair, with blond streaks in the sunlight

He has these caring hazel eyes

He always seems to know what you're thinking

He always seems to know you're emotions

His favorite colors Red but he prefers gold

He looks best in blue

He talks in his sleep

He has wonderful pale skin

He has a little brother and Sister at home, Twins

He has a man-purse but won't admit it saying it's a "Satchel"

His name is Remus J Lupin

And I am in love with him

But don't tell anyone, it's a secret.

**Thanks for reading! I worked hard on it, please Review and check out some of my other Remmie/Sir I LOVE THEM so adorable**** Thankies!**

**~~~~~DontForget2RememberMe**


End file.
